blessed

sometimes i'm surprised that anyone reads this blog.

sometimes i'm surprised that anyone is interested in our crazy life.

sometimes i'm surprised by the people that having generously given to us.

monday a dear friend of ours had a birthday party. he turned a BIG number. his desire was that instead of people giving him gifts, that they would give the gifts to us.

crazy.

when he first approached us with his idea, the hubster and i were taken aback by his generosity. in fact so much so, that we did not even have words to express our gratitude. he said,"maybe you don't want me to do this." the hubster said, " no, we want you to do this, we are just overwhelmed." at this point i looked him in the eye....with tears running down my face. he said, "i get it." and he does.

oh dear friend, the depths of gratitude for your friendship, for your gift, still bring tears to my eyes.

thank you for letting little bit dance while you sang. she had a wonderful time. she still talks about it...all. the. time.

jill, thanks for the photos!

the hubster and i first met this gentle man when we became youth sponsors. we have traveled to numerous camps, retreats, mission trips together. it's funny how when you are striving for the gospel you grow deep in the love of God, especially with those you serve with. he has a deep relationship with his Savior. a deep regard for God's word. a deep regard for those he has served with.

i am proud to call him friend.

thank you for blessing us.

thank you for helping us to bring home little man and little lady.

when we tell them the story of how they came to be in our family...you will be a chapter in that story.

i really didn't think this time around i would feel so emotional about the adoption.

i was wrong.

even more so this time.

i am so thankful.

i am so blessed.

looking forward

we had a great time celebrating the birth of our Savior together.

all my chicks were in the nest. that alone is reason to rejoice.

it was just a fun day. food, fellowship, games, naps, movies, more food.

little bit was in her element as the baby of the family. soaking up the affection of her family.

the strides she has made since last year are gianormous.

opening stockings

hugs!

new ribbon hairstyles

showing us how the new "kitchen" works.

even though we had a great time, my mind kept wandering to the ones who are not home yet.

time to share a secret.

i've been guarding my own heart a little, not really willing to share. i think it is time.

we have requested 2 kiddos from peru.

two non-related children.

simultaneously.

it may not happen. or it may.

from here on out they are little man and little lady.

by the time we pick them up (Lord willing) they will be 8 and 11, respectively.

it's been a wild ride, this journey. we have begged family and friends to pray for us...to pray for wisdom, strength, peace. to pray that God would work out all of the details on another continent. that God, Himself will be glorified in the process.

right now we are working on a few additional things the sna has asked us to do if we want them to consider our request. that they are even willing to go this far is huge. there are no laws in peru stating that they will not do this, but they just don't do it very often.

i realize i am opening myself up to all kinds of criticism by sharing this, but also know there are those of you that will double your prayer efforts for us. those of you that will join in our excitement. those of you that will help our family with this crazy endeavor. those of you who will partner with us in life.

tomorrow morning i am meeting a friend at our local coffee hang-out spot norm's coffee bar, . she and i are planning to hit the report we have to write. it's a little unnerving to know that so much is riding on this report. i am confident that with her help, i will not sound like the overly-emotional, village idiot that i sometimes believe i am.

then our psychologist will get to write another report too. i am sure he will be thrilled {insert sarcasm here}. i did warn him when we saw him a week and a half ago. i even gave him the translated parts of the kid's files, our letters of request and shared our hearts with him. so i don't think he will be very surprised when i email him tomorrow. we may be surprised by bill we receive.

it figures that i have sent the documents to be apostilled already and now will need to do this again. the murphy's law of adoption. if something must have a special seal of some kind, you will need to do this more that once, not all documents will be in the overnight envelope.

oh, well, completely worth it!

the truth is this: God can do this. we are putting our faith and trust in Him, to help us do this crazy thing. i know it will be hard...not just the adoption, but life afterwards. the life after the airport party. the battle in our home to knit these children to our hearts, to our family, to our life.

but even though it will be tough. it will be good. it will be beautiful.

why? because this wasn't something dreamed up by us, not some agenda of ours, not some idea to see how many times we can head to peru , to see how big our family can become. but rather something dreamed up by a God much bigger than our dreams and our agenda and our ideas. you see we could have said no and just finished raising our biological kids. we could have ignored that whispered voice. we could be saving for our retirement or a new car or a luxury vacation. but somewhere along the way, God has grabbed our hearts for the orphan and we will never be the same again. absolutely destroyed for the sake of the fatherless. hopelessly broken for the child without a family. completely useless to do anything other that obey the call on our lives. we could decide to just go to peru and work full time in an orphanage or move to an african nation and live our lives out on foreign soil sharing the gospel. instead we are bringing three lost children into our home, the ultimate mission trip. a lifelong mission trip. while some days i wonder what i am getting myself into....i also glory in the joy the thought of them coming home brings.

next christmas will certainly look different. 

but won't it be beautiful? 

 

the little things

sometimes it's the little things that make the biggest difference.

tonight was one of the nights when a sweet word from our agency did just that.

"gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." proverbs 16:24

what a beautiful gift it was to open that email and hear words that we have been hoping to hear.

hope.

a little early christmas present to our famly.


"how sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!" psalm 119:103

we still have a way to go to make this thing happen. they could still say no, even after revisions and more revisions of our dossier.

i believe that the God who asked this crazy, unbelievable, beautiful thing of us is more that able to bring it to pass. so instead of worrying about all the "what-ifs", i will have faith that the One who loves to place the orphan in a family. He can and will do what He desires.

it is amazing that the sna is even considering our request.

beautiful, sweet words.

hope renewed.

in a nutshell

not much to share.

but since so many people keep asking, i will give a little update.

we have completed all 11 items on our fix-it list.

that's right folks. done.

6 medical forms stamped, re dated and notarized

1 social worker license

1 psychological update

1 psychologist license

1 psychiatrist license

1 birth certificate

tomorrow i will send 10 of the documents to the secretary of state office in topeka, kansas to be apostilled. the last document will be sent to the secretary of state office in raleigh, north carolina for the same purpose. sent overnight with overnight return envelopes tucked inside. i am trying really, really hard not to think about the expense. roughly $165. gulp.

i nearly panicked when our agency asked me to get these apostilled. i had not done this before. so i sent an email to a friend, who pointed me in the right direction. thanks t.

at first i though about driving to topeka and hand delivering the documents, then thought about all the stuff i need to do.....and quickly changed my mind. so i made a call and spoke to a very friendly lady at the secretary of state office. i am following her directions to a t and should have them back on tuesday or wednesday.

not only did i get some stellar directions, i also  learned all about apostilles in the process. while there is some debate on just how the word is said, i now understand what the word means. basically an apostille is a certification of a document before it can be used for an international purpose. if you are working with a country that is a part of the hague convention then you need an apostille, if not then your documents need to be authenticated.

an apostille is a fancy term for verifying that the person that signed as a notary is really able to do just that. that's it. for $7.50 a document (or $10.00 for north carolina...although they do give a cut rate for additional documents).

"some countries, including the united states, are parties to the 1961 hague convention abolishing the requirement of legalization for foreign public documents. by joining the convention, countries agree to accept a specific, universal type of certification on public documents. this type of certification is called an 'apostille'. with an apostille the document is recognized by other countries for its intended use and does not require any additional certifications by the u.s. department of state or legalization by the embassy or consulate." look here for more info

once we get the documents back then will be overnighted to our agency. then our completed documents will join their completed documents and sent on to peru. i am hopeful things are being translated already, as we have sent documents as we have gotten them. our agency is really good at this. by the time our dossier made it to peru, it was already translated and delivered the very next day. i am sure the same will happen with our updates.

once it is all delivered to the sna, they will go over it to make sure we completed things to their satisfaction. then hopefully our dossier will be accepted and we will be put on the docket for the matching meeting.

so that's it in a nutshell.

still waiting. we have not heard anything. that is probably good news. there will be a matching meeting sometime next week, probably on thursday, since that is when it the meetings seem to be happening. the results will be posted in the first week of january.

please pray that little man will not be matched with anyone else.

we may still be able to make the january consejo.

hopefully.

maybe.
"we wait in hope for the LORD; He is our Help and our Shield. in Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy name." psalm 33:20-21

3 steps forward

it's been a busy day.

that was a terrific understatement.

it was an insane day. so much so that we went to see the psychologist.

well actually, peru made us update a few things and one of them was a revisit with our psychologist.

hubby and i had to fill out some paperwork proving that our kids are not as nuts as we are. then he spoke with them all. well all except little bit, though she did a very nice job of greeting him in the lobby and waited patiently for her siblings to finish up.

there's just not a lot of sense in her chatting with him, although she would love the attention. she is not fluent enough to really understand what he would need to ask her.

in case you are curious after he was done meeting with the biggers, he talked with us. he shared some of the things they told him. all in all it was pretty sweet to hear about their hearts for orphans. their excitement about a little brother.

we drove through wendy's on our way home.

then headed over to the big guys' concert. older twin is in orchestra and plays the double bass. younger twin played the drums for one of the pieces they did...the transiberian orchestra version of "christmas eve". they did an outstanding job. i was very proud to be the mama, i almost felt like i should take a bow. i did restrain myself...no fears.

then home to throw the littlest one in bed, before the morning grouchies attached to her. not pleasant folks!

funny, silly child.

i think the hubby might be asleep!












this is what we accomplished today:

1. visit with psychologist
2. copy of psychologist license
3. talked to doctor about taking medical sheets over to be stamped and notarized
4. talked to psychiatrist about getting license.

may not seem like much to you. to me, it is huge.

once we have all of these documents, we will be ready to get apostilles and send them to peru.

that, my friends, will be a very good day.

i thought by now

i would have some exciting news to share with you.

that is not true.

no news.

nothing exciting.

we are still harboring secrets. i am not at liberty to share, although i would love it if you would still pray for us and those making decisions in peru.

so we continue to wait.

honestly we could wait for quite a while. we could go with no answers until the end of january or february at least.

we did receive a list of dossier revisions to make for the sna. it is hard to believe that there is anything they would want.

this is the "fix-it" list:

1. oldest daughter's birth certificate

this one probably baffles me the most. she does not live with us. she has not lived with us for the last year. she was not a part of the home study. i was able to order it on friday. it cost over $70. just to have it in 2 weeks. thank you north carolina vital records.

2. get medicals sealed

whatever that means. we are still trying to figure that one out with the help of our agency. we are hoping that a notary can fix that problem, because doctors in the us of a do not seal medical forms.

3. update home study agency license

that is being taken care of by our agency. one of the people that worked on our home study needed to have their license renewed...long after our home study was completed, mind you. so they sent us a fabulous document with names and dates and signatures that i am sure will be loved and adored by all.

4.something about the apostille of our documents

another vague one that our agency will iron out for us. not so sure what they are talking about.

5. psych update

they want to know that we can handle little man's needs. this is actually a very good sign, since they mentioned him by name. this is out of the ordinary. our agency sent us a template for him to use from the sna. we hope to get this taken care of pretty quick.

all in all not a bad list. it is very doable. again we are "lucky" and have some pretty easy fixes.

in the mean time we are pressing on. doing the here and now. working on bedrooms and buying clothing. making a quilt for a little boy.

i do feel like we do not have all of our family home for christmas. i keep thinking about peruvian faces around my table. buying little boys gifts. stepping on legos. more running and yelling. light saber fights in the back yard. i am sure my men will need new light sabers too, as well as little bit. feel free to buy stock in hasbro, i am sure it will be going up.

last week i had a to-do list. i have accomplished some of the things on it, but not all. we did clean out the basement. now our garage is full, but the auction will take care of that. we also took a healthy load over to a local thrift shop. i made a whole bunch of etsy orders and will continue to do that this week. (it's not too late to order folks!) while i did not sew the quilt, i did lay it out and am one step closer. i am hoping to do this over break. we did not set up a christmas tree in the basement, mostly because the biggers didn't want to do the work. it still may go up.

thanks to everyone who has told me they want to help with the auction/spaghetti supper. i have let my friend know and we will be calling you. your generosity is so beautiful.

calling all prayer warriors

there is so much i want to tell you.

so many exciting things for you to hear.

but right now i cannot tell you. i must keep the secret a little bit longer.

the one thing i need is for you to pray.

"i call on You, my God, for You will answer me; turn Your ear to me and hear my prayer. show me the wonders of Your great love, You who save by Your right hand those who take refuge in You from their foes." psalm 17:6-7
 pray that the miracle we are begging for will happen.

"listen to my words, LORD,consider my lament. hear my cry for help, my King and my God,for to You I pray. in the morning, LORD, You hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before You and wait expectantly." psalm 5:1-3

pray that God will work strongly in the hearts of the sna.

"hear my cry, O God;listen to my prayer.from the ends of the earth i call to You,i call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than i. for You have been my refuge,a strong tower against the foe." psalm 61:1-3
pray that in everything God will be glorified, whether we get our way or not.

"may my prayer come before You; turn Your ear to my cry." psalm 88:2
i promise you that if God chooses to do this thing you will be surprised. you will be amazed. because it is more that crazy.

it's huge and extravagant and beyond anything you could ever dream of. well some of you might dream of it...but it's still pretty big.

we've told some close friends and family, but cannot go public until we have a little more information, until we see if this thing is even possible.

one thing i know...that God is more than able to do this thing. He who whispers into the hearts of His children, can easily bring this thing to pass.

after all He recreated His Son, fully of glory into a tiny helpless baby. to be raised by a teen aged mom and a step dad. who ultimately would die on a cross to bridge the gap, to pay the price for our ransom, so that you and i could have eternal life.

in comparison this is nothing.

but for someone else it is everything. the one thing they want more than anything else. the one thing they have prayed for. the one thing they have dreamed of. the one thing they have hoped for.

i beg of you...pray that God will bring this thing to pass.

"LORD, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in Your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief." psalm 143:1

in the chaos of the last week i have begun to do some pretty crazy nesting. i laid out little man's quilt, it is all ready to sew together. maybe i will get to it this weekend. one thing for sure, we will be fixing up our basement this weekend. it's a pit. we've been stuffing stuff down there for a while now and i no longer can stand it.

good thing we are having an auction soon. you heard me right. an auction. my dear friend, b is helping us with this venture. our hope is that we will raise some money to help with the adoption. so i will be cleaning out stuff we no longer want, but someone else might.

the auction is scheduled to be on saturday, january 14 at the armory and will start with a spaghetti supper at 5:30, auction at 6:30 until around 9. we are taking donations. items can be dropped off at the armory that entire week and can be picked up on sunday, january 15.

we are starting to get excited. we have several dressers, a day bed,and some collectibles. my hubby is thinking about selling his football cards. so starting first thing saturday morning (well first thing past my first cup of coffee) i will be digging in the basement. good thing i have two strapping young men that live in our house!

my goal is to completely rearrange the basement and make it more user friendly. it's kind of a chopped up room, but i would like to make it a more pleasant place to spend one's time. if we get it all taken care of, i might even set up another christmas tree down there. right now it's too big of a mess to even think of doing that.

if you are interested in donating some items to the auction or would just like to help, let me know. we would love to have you be a part of our team.

in the meantime, please pray.

"never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. romans 12:11-12

a cheerful heart

there was a consejo on wednesday,november 30th. we were not matched. that's okay, because no one else was matched with little man either.

{insert happy dance here}

our agency thinks it is most likely that we will be matched at the january meeting. but i wouldn't complain if it happened in december! we turned in our dossier to the sna on november 2, so 2 months would make that around january 2. they like to have around 2 months to look over the dossier...sometimes even longer. our dossier was submitted to the sna on 2/4/10, evaluated on 3/16/10, we submitted revisions on 4/21/10 and our dossier was accepted on 7/8/2010. it was a very long 5 months. hopefully we will not have it take this long again, at least that is what our agency tells us.

we are still waiting to hear if the sna has anything they want us to add or update in our dossier. so far, no word. it will probably happen super close to christmas, making it tricky to get anything done. this is the way these things seem to work.

so until we hear something else...anything else...we wait.

waiting is not my favorite and probably never will be.

truthfully...your kind words have been a balm to my soul. thank you for praying for us, for your texts, your emails, your comments, your facebook messages. thank you for your friendship and encouragement.

the waiting is hard. but not as hard as not having a chance at our little man.

so i will happily wait. well, for right now.

my plans for the weekend are as such:
make and ship etsy orders
finish sewing 2 christmas presents
finish sewing and making 2 birthday presents
wrap christmas presents
make turkey noodle soup and homemade rolls
take a nap
translate part of a file into english
bake something sweet
listen to christmas music
answer 1 billion questions from little bit
make more hair flowers and headbands

i'm not likely to actually take a nap. little bit likes to stand over me while i am sleeping and breathe on me. or whisper in the loudest stage whisper known to man that i am sleeping to anyone who comes in the room. the number of naps i have had since bringing her home has greatly diminished.

so i guess i will just try to continue to keep myself busy.

at least that makes the time go quickly.

right now that's the very best medicine.

"a cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."  proverbs 17:22

one year ago

today