You've come a long way baby

Sometimes it is hard to see the forest for the trees.

Actually lots of days.

But lately we are seeing glimmers of sunlight.

Beautiful sunlight streaming through trees.

Today marks 2 and 1/2 years of little bit being home. Just about this time we were opening the door to her new home. Showing off her bedroom, her toys. Meeting the family dog.

She has come so very, very far.

Yesterday was one of those beautiful moments.

She came home from school with a note about misbehavior during her day. Normally she would become defiant when asked about poor behavior. Yesterday was different. She told me she was making baby noises during reading group. Then she began to cry. Not in a manipulative way, but rather in remorse. She came to me with her arms open, wanting to be held. Then told me she was just so sorry. That she really wanted to do better tomorrow.

I began to cry with her.

I asked her what should we do? She thought she should go to time out to think for a little while. I told her that would be a good idea. She softly cried for a while. Then we talked some more. She told me she would try harder to obey at school.

Then I sent her outside to swing.

Beautiful, appropriate emotion. We have worked so hard to get to this place.

Today was a good day at school. She worked hard and obeyed.

Tonight she is at AWANA award night. She passed her book. Pretty amazing that a little girl from the desert land of Peru who came to us without really any language could pass her book. Sure we practiced with her, but she went and said her verses every night.

2 and 1/2 years home.

I cannot even begin to imagine my life without her in it.

Welcome home, baby girl, welcome home.

You are so very loved.

Beauty

Even on the hard days.

There is good.

Even on the painful days.

There is healing.

We have seen some amazing things in the lives of these three over the past weeks.

Some of it I just need to keep to myself. The emotion is far to deep to share.

Little Bit often asks us if we like Jesus. We always tell her we do love Jesus very much. She usually tells me that she does not love him. Sometimes I think it is to get a rise out of me. Other times I just don't know why.

Lately we have been watching "The Bible" on the History channel. Little Bit was especially impressed with the way Jesus loved the children. I agree with her if was beautiful to watch....not corny or cheesy. She turned to me on Sunday night and told that Jesus really did love the little children. That he was great. That he was beautiful. That she loved him very much. I was pretty much choking up, so I just squeaked out....me too.

Just one of those little beautiful treasures I have been soaking up.

Tonight we talked with some young parents from church. Their small group invited us to share. We told them about our crazy life, talked about our parenting our kids, talked about our marriage. We shared the good, the bad, and the not-so-pretty. In the end it was fun. We laughed and we cried.

Everyone has something hard in life.

Death.

Sickness.

Pain.

Secrets.

All of the above.

Yet even in all of this there is beauty. Little moments. Little rays of hope.

Some days...

Are good.

Others are really hard.

There have been lots of things I have wanted to share with you, but I just feel raw. Apparently I used to be a lot tougher skinned that I am now. I guess.

This week has started out tough.

Last weekend I was at Created for Care in Buford, Georgia with 450 of my best friends. Worshipping. Crying. Praying.

For the first time I met a dear friend who has been walking this adoption path with me....for almost 3 years. Meeting her was one the the highlights of my entire year. It was like seeing an old high school friend, one that you have amazing memories, shared secrets, inside jokes with. Except we had never met in person. Oh we have skyped and emailed and called and messaged and texted. But never met until last Friday morning. I loved every minute we spent together. Her friend was pretty amazing too. We were often laughing hysterically...especially when we were supposed to be quiet or listening.

I also spent last weekend with my little sis. We have any amazing bond, not that I do not have a special friendship with my middle sis, cuz I do, she just plain rocks and I do not get to spend enough time with her. But my baby sis understands adoption like no one else in our family does. It is part of her heart. Part of her soul. Part of her motherhood. Needless to say, we had a fabulous time together. She sat and prayed for me as I spoke. I talked the food people at the hotel into finding food she could eat. We had bananas and guacamole delivered to our table....just for her, although she did share the guacamole. I love that during the last prayer of our weekend I put my arm around her as we were prayed over, we both melted into tears and held on tight. So much to process and learn from. It was beautiful. She is beautiful.

The whole weekend has left me feeling even more raw than when I boarded my place to Atlanta.

I've tried not to think too much about it, I am not sure i will ever stop crying once the tears begin.

In the midst of the raw, we have had a few bright spots.

The weekend before the retreat we had a beautiful balmy Saturday....not common in Kansas. So we shooed the kidlets out to the backyard to soak up the vitamin d. I ran a few errands and when I came home they had something to show me. A giant letter written in sidewalk chalk on the back patio.

This is what it said.

Dear mom and dad,

Thank you for adoption c, e and me. I <3 this family and the kids to. Thank you for the house. Thank you for all of your love for we. Thank you for clothes. Thank you for all. Thank you. And we are happy for this. Love you.
Thank you,
G
C
E

Pretty sweet? Why yes, it almost makes the really hard days bearable.

emmanuel

last year we wondered who would be the new faces around our table.

this year we know them very well.

4 blonde biological children, 3 black haired adopted children.

so beautiful in its diversity.

a landscape of personalities, facial features, sizes.

last year we prayed to Emmanuel for a little boy named manuel. every single christmas carol caused me to weep as i cried out to God for this son.

i do not believe that it was a fluke that the nuns named him this....God with us. they knew his heart, one who loves to worship the King born to a virgin. he was also one that no room was found for, until that day that we met him. it is his favorite story to hear....to tell....of how we came and met him and went home and came back. how he was happy to hear that we were coming to take him home, with those big, tall brothers. how he giggles and blushes when i repeat the story. he then reminds me he is very happy.

on sunday we sang about our Emmanuel, again my response was to weep....He is with us. in this messy place of restoring the years the locust have eaten. in this dirty place of beauty from ashes. in this place of healing and hope and family.

we have worshiped and sang and read and celebrated. we have taught about giving and a heart open to the gifts of others. we have shared meals around the table, all together. we have baked and decorated.

i feel the beauty in the everydayness of it all. in the repetition of the traditions.

even on the hard days.

and yet in this beauty my heart still heaves for a lost dark world who does not understand about the babe born to a young woman and a reluctant bridegroom in a cold strange barn. of the noise and the smells and the fear and the pain. of the miracles that tied them all together.

for a world who did not see and hear the angels, for a world that does not know and offer gifts, for a broken, hurting world.

we will never be whole until we bow the knee to that Baby boy.

the same boy who would grow up and learn to work with his adoptive father.

the same man who would carry the weight of the sin of the entire world on his shoulders.

the same God who would rise again, conquering death once for all. so that I may live.....you may live.

Emmanuel....come to us....we so desperately need you.

sweets

we had some sweet words this weekend, way too sweet to go un-shared.

i hope these satisfy your sweet tooth.

we have been talking a lot about what people do in a family...necessary for kids that have never been in one before. for our little man, this is so true. he has never lived in a family before ours. we were talking last night how it is okay for family members to kiss each other on the lips. he has always kissed me goodnight on the cheek since his first kiss. tonight he came to give me a goodnight kiss...he started to kiss my cheek, then stopped and kissed me full on the lips. then told me, "love you, mom." oh. my. goodness.

this afternoon i was leaving to go over to church to sing, the kids were all shouting goodbye....when little bit came running up the basement stairs, yelling, "i need a kiss, mommy!" we have had five really good days, i am just begging God that these continue. so. very. precious.

i spent the majority of the afternoon decorating for christmas. on thursday morning my sweet hubby decided to bring down all of our christmas decor from the attic. i am sure the thought was sweet, just it meant a lot of work. i spent 3 days completely ignoring the mess....well i did put up the tree, but mostly ignored it. he was kind and helped me this afternoon. yesterday we bought a stocking for our little lady, i already had one for little man. i was showing the kids their stockings and the silver sparkle letters that i purchased to hang on each stocking. i had both a c and an m for our little man, not knowing of he would want to go by his birth name, or by the name we chose for him. at the same time (last year) i purchased one for little lady too, even though i really did not know if she would become ours. when i told her i got it last year, she grabbed me really hard around my waist....and thanked me....for adopting her. oh. my. heart.

all in all a great weekend.

there were some other sweet things that happened....but i don't want to upset your tummy with too many sweets!

we had better save some for another day.

lovely little trinkets...bracelets

alrighty....as i promised the beginning of the lovely little trinkets.

 

today.

 

bracelets.

 

 

 

if you are interested in something message me...either by facebook, email, comment....or by text if you have my number.

 

you can pay by paypal (see right sidebar) or check...but that will take longer.

 

if you would like me to send it to you, please add $2 for postage.

 

make sure i know where to send your lovely little trinket.

 

all will come to you in a pretty little jewelry pouch. just perfect for gift giving, or keeping things from getting all tangled in your drawer.

 

 

diamonds are forever.

large cut rhinestones with charms....peace sign, lock, sparrow.

pretty little lace bow.

$15.95

 

pearly blues.

royal and white pearls with a white chiffon flower pin.

pin is removable, so you can wear it on a sweater or top or something cute.

$15.95

 

the key to my freedom.

matte and glossy taupe pearls with lock, key and sparrow charms.

pretty little lace bow.

$15.95

 

owl always love you.

multi colored beads with owl charm.

pretty little lace bow.

$15.95

 

gray skies are gonna cheer up.

gray pearls with key, lock and sparrow charms.

pretty little lace bow.

$15.95

 

in the pink.

pink pearls with key, butterfly and bird charms.

pretty little lace bow.

$15.95

 

you are my sunshine.

white pearls with yellow chrysanthemum.

$15.95

 

i've got rhythym.

gray mini pearls on antique gold chain.

$15.95

 

blue christmas.

aqua pearls, three different heart charms.

pretty little lace bow

$15.95

 

 

not your daughter's charm bracelet.

charcoal gray pearls, antique gold charms.

pretty little lace bow.

$15.95

 

blue bird.

gold beads, chain, verdigis sparrow charm.

pretty little lace bow.

$15.95

 

 

grandma's button box.

lots and lots of buttons on an antique gold chain.

$24.95

 

 

here they all are.

 

stashed in this pretty bit of lovliness.

 

an early christmas present from a dear friend.

 

what a blessing.

lovely little trinkets

on sunday our church had a craft bazaar. there were lot of other things besides just crafts....but lots and lots of crafts.

i sold some stuff, so i am pretty excited about that. there are a few pretty trinkets left over that i thought you might like to see or be interested for yourself or a special someone.

there will also be a few giveaways thrown in for good measure.

here's how it is going to work. if you are local just email, text, message me with what you want and drop off a check or cash when you pick it up or i drop it off. we can also do the exchange at church if that works better for you. if you are not local, message me either in the comments or by my email (unless you have my phone number or are a fb friend) and i can ship the item(s) to you. recently i added a donation button on the sidebar, so you can pay with credit card/paypal if that is easier for you. if this whole kind of thing makes you uncomfortable i am sorry, we still have lots of adoption expenses to pay for and i am just trying to do my part.

some days I will try to throw in some funny things the kidlets have said or done....as well as some lovely modeling. :)

the etsy shop is still open (link on sidebar) and i am taking orders for stamped jewelry. you can order until about a week before christmas. i promise to get everything into the mail quickly for you.

tomorrow i hope to get some pictures taken and the first lovely trinket up for you to see.

now for the teaser....